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Thursday, 21 June 2012

Therapy

Describing yesterday as an emotional roller coaster doesn't really do it justice, but it's the best way i can think of right now.

I had a job interview for the trust which I am training at. Its literally a 15 minute drive away so would be perfect!! It was a really difficult situation because all my peers were also interviewed and we have no idea how many jobs they are actually offering. Despite this, I was feeling pretty confident and had spent a lot of time preparing. I wasn't too stressed until I sat down in the waiting room before being called, two girls I know well were also waiting and it struck home how much I wanted this job but also so does everyone else.

It's sad really and I was getting ahead of myself but the other day I was searching rightmove for houses in the area which we could buy and start settling down properly. Getting excited about the prospect of being to work in the area and start "life".

So I walked into to interview room. And my nerves ruined everything. The first question I didn't answer to the greatest of my ability but I got there so hopefully it was enough... But the second question... I messed up... It was a clinical question and I realised I had gone wrong straight away, corrected myself and then explained why I wouldn't do it the way I said to begin with. But that was it then, I couldn't settle into it at all. I think I answered the questions well but I waffled quite a lot and don't really think I did myself justice. The worst thing is I really didn't know how to take the women who interviewed me; one of them I knew and she seemed to be quite warming so I hope that is a good sign but I didn't really know the other lady and she wasn't giving much away!

I'm just so concerned that even though I corrected myself it wont make a difference now, specially if they have some hard decisions to make because there's very little difference between us! I hope that they put it down to nerves. But who knows....

When I got home I honestly didn't know what to do with myself! I called mum which helped then spoke to Scott also. I could have done with one of the girls being around but they were all working! I sat on the front door step for ages just collecting myself together then it dawned on me! The front door step needed painting!!

So that's what I did!

Much better!

 I felt so much better after doing something constructive! It will need another coat and now and it shows up the door so that will need doing too but that's fine, my project for the weekend if the weather is nice! I also finally took the plunge and brought a mini greenhouse/seed propagater which I have wanted for ages!

 I know it's late in the season now but everything I have tried to grow so far has either been washed away or eaten by slugs... Which is pretty annoying as I had lost interest. Hopefully now though I can get back on track!



As you can see the onions are doing really well but that basically the only thing that has. I planted 3 runner bean plants, only one has come up. I planted loads of fine beans (as they are our favourite) but not a single one has come up. Down the end of the border was broccoli and sprouts, they have all been eaten. It's been so fustrating! I know I probably should have protected them more but it's difficult with the chickens because slug pellets etc are toxic to them. I have the area protected from them but that doesn't stop them getting in from time to time. I think this time round ill use the egg shells I have been saving and sprinkle them round the bottom, see if that makes any difference!

Updates to come!

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