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Wednesday, 13 December 2017

I wanted to have a baby yesterday!

39+1/40

So I have finally caught up all of my posts and this is the first one written on time! the 12th was my Grandad's birthday so really would have loved my baby to have been born on his day. Since 37 weeks I have been chomping at the bit to have her but really felt fate might play its part in getting her here for this date. I think I made too much of the date as the night before I basically didn't sleep at all which wasn't a good start for hopefully going into labour!  Even yesterday evening I was still kind of hopeful as I had been tightening all day and my hormones were obviously flying as I had a couple of outbursts of tears for no reason at all. Today, I woke up and she was in a really awkward position and have had very few tightenings today. I'm still very tired too so I would be surprised if anything happened today. To be fair I am starting to resign myself that actually labour is really not that close at all right now!


I have tried a few things to get labour going. I have been drinking raspberry leaf tea - though probably not as regularly as I should be. I have brought myself an aromatherapy diffuser and have been pumping clary sage around the living room most days. A few months ago I brought myself a exercise/birthing ball (whatever you want to call it) as I get really uncomfortable in the evenings so I have been religiously bouncing up and down on that to try and get things going. The last thing I have been doing (which I have put most my hopes in working) is expressing. I have been leaking colostrum since about 19 weeks and nipple stimulation is meant to get your hormones going so I thought this would be a good thing to get on. To begin with I was only doing it ever other day. since 38 weeks I took to doing it daily and in the last few days I have been doing it twice a day. Maybe this is why I have been niggling so much? Though, not's not like labours actually started so who knows if any of this is doing anything! If nothing else, if this baby comes out and is a rubbish feeder, I have about 60mls colostrum frozen ready to feed her! I don't know why I am keeping it all really but I can't bring myself to waste it. We work so hard to express colostrum with women for their babies it doesn't seem logical in my brain to get rid of it!

Generally the last few weeks have been pretty boring and tiring so not the best few weeks of my life as I can't occupy myself with the things I would usually do. Despite this, up until this week I have stayed in good spirits but I have to say I am now starting to find it difficult to stay positive. I'm trying to find things to keep me occupied each day. My carpal tunnel is now in both hands and by far the most debilitating. At it's worst (like today) I have constant numbness and/or pins and needles in my fingers and everything I do I have to think about the positioning of my hands. One thing I have found that is both a time killer and not too painful on my hands is playing computer games. In the lounge, Scott has a computer set up with Steam and we sometimes play games using Xbox controllers. We recently played the Lego Harry Potter games and I have spent quite alot of time completing all the extra content. If I sit on my ball and use the controller, I am still moving my fingers to keep the circulation going but my wrists are at neutral positions which means I don't get too much pain. Now I've completed both games though I don't know what to play next!?



On Monday I decided to go shopping for some Christmas presents (we had done absolutely nothing up until this point). I managed to get everyone's all at once and wrapped them all too! They are not exactly thoughtful presents like I usually try to do but giving the circumstances I am just happy that I managed anything at all! We are pretty much all up together house wise so I hoped this might count as my nesting phase??



I know that life with a newborn is going to be pretty tough and I'll probably be even more exhausted than I am now but at least I will be occupied all of the time. It's all this sitting and waiting around which is killing me. Come on baby Ware we are so ready for you now!


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